For The Living by L.A. Witt

Author:L.A. Witt [Witt, L.A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-04-04T04:00:00+00:00

***

Scott stayed overnight at the mortuary on Monday, so I went over to his place after work on Tuesday evening. The second he opened his front door, Scott knew something wasn’t right.

He gestured for me to come in. “You all right?”

“I…” Any attempt I might have made to pretend everything was fine evaporated under the intensity of his gaze. “Fuck…”

“Jay.” He touched my arm. “What’s wrong?” Before I could respond, he nudged me toward the couch. “Come on, let’s sit for a minute.”

I sank onto his couch and rested my elbows on his knees. “God, I am such a wreck.” I rubbed my temples and sighed.

“Of course you are. With everything you’re going through right now, who wouldn’t be?”

My shoulders slumped. “No kidding. But this…” I made myself look him in the eye. “Scott, I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I can do this.”

No surprise registered in his expression. His eyebrows knitted together and his forehead creased, but he seemed more concerned than anything.

I took a breath. “Don’t get me wrong. The other night was…” I closed my eyes and shivered. “It was amazing.” I looked at him and managed a grin. “Well done, I must say.”

Scott beamed. “Why thank you.”

I laughed. Only Scott could get a laugh out of me when I felt like shit.

“You don’t feel right about the other night, though, do you?” he asked without an ounce of humor.

“I don’t know, to be honest.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t. At least not until you’re sure. You don’t have to justify anything to me.”

“I know, but I…I feel like I need to at least explain myself, because…” I pushed out a breath. “I don’t want to walk away from you completely. I’m just not sure about what we’re doing.”

Scott shrugged. “Then we can be friends.”

I laughed dryly. “Except I’m not sure I can keep my hands off you.”

He laughed, too, though with a little more easy humor. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t stop you if you wanted to put your hands on me.” Our eyes met, and the devilish sparkle in his drew a genuine smile out of me.

“You know what I mean, though.”

“I do.” His expression turned serious. “But I mean it, Jay. You’re going through a difficult time right now, and maybe it’s just not the right time for anything. We can hang out. We can talk. If something else happens later, then it does. But I would rather not push it than have you regret it.”

“Thanks. And thanks for, you know, being there recently.”

He smiled. “You’re welcome. I just hope I haven’t made things more complicated or confusing for you.”

I shrugged with one shoulder. “If you have, I’d say it’s been worth it. And I don’t want to stop seeing you altogether. I really don’t. You’re a great friend, and…and if I could figure out which way was up, maybe I could say we’re great as more than friends. I don’t know.” I closed my eyes and sighed as I combed a hand through my hair. “But I…I like everything else we’re doing, too.

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